put confetti in a shotgun to make it a shotfun
apparently if you do this the confetti will catch on fire and it’ll probably end badly so please stop reblogging this
(via getoffmybloghoe)
Stay Strong
There's like everything here
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
if you cut your pizza into really small pizzas you can use it as a topping for a different pizza
(via maliciousmelons)
how to give an awful handjob
- be unaware of where the penis is
- scream into the penis
- use the back of your hand
- slap the penis and call it “buddy”
- condescend to the penis
- set your hand on fire
(via follower)
Giant Python can open doors by itself
> Is it just me or did that “good job” have a little bit of the crazy in it.
> You would think that being almost entirely made of muscle would give it the ability to lower itself to the ground in a reasonable manner. Nope.
> Well this is just one more fucking thing I have to worry about now.
> That’s not OK.
> The way she says “Good job” at the end makes me think she’s training this snake for some sort of elaborate heist…
> I burst out laughing. That “THWACK” is so good.
> I’m sorry, but DID SOMEONE JUST TEACH MOTHA*******’ SNAKES HOW TO USE MOTHA*******’ DOORS?!?
> That’s terrifying.
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
(via follower)
eat spicy food while pregnant. your baby will become a fire mage. yes i am a doctor
(via majorlame)
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicidethat’s pretty fucking metalI’d say it’s pretty fuckingbananas
(via whatsacanada)
